1. Licensing

The first step to becoming a foster parent is deciding whether you want to become licensed through the Department of Family and Protective Services or an agency. Both have a number or pros and cons. It is best to do a lot of research and speak to other foster parents before making your decision.

2. Training

The second step once you have decided which agency or department you want to go through for your licensing requirements is to take training. In the state of Texas, where I am from, everyone over the age of 14 living in the home is required to complete the training necessary to become licensed. In Texas, that training is called PRIDE (Parent Resource for Information, Development, and Education). More information can be about this training here. During the second step families will be required to turn in a lot of documentation to become licensed. Documentation that shows income, driver’s license, social security card, and bank statements.

3. Background checks

The third step will be for everyone over the age of 14 to complete an FBI background check and fingerprinting to be a foster family. Your department or agency will let you know of the locations where this can be completed as well as the cost involved for each person.

4. Health and Safety

The fourth step on your journey to being a foster parent is to complete health and safety inspections of your home. Your agency or department will let you know who to contact and if there is any cost involved in these checks as well. A part of this process is also to provide a layout of your home, an emergency evacuation plan, and photos of the inside and outside of the home. If a family has pets, all pets will have to be current on vaccinations as well.

5. Home Study

The final step to becoming a licensed foster parent is a home study. The agency or department that you choose will conduct the home study. There are some agencies that do charge for this service, so if that is a concern to your family you’ll need to find out up front if there will be a cost involved. I have been told some agencies charge upwards of $500 to complete them at times. Other agencies and departments may not charge anything at all. The home study takes many hours to complete as each member of the household is questioned in depth on categories such as: family background, community, health, criminal clearances, and financial statements.  For more in-depth information on questions that are asked please click here. 

After all steps have been completed, all documents and recommendations will be forwarded to a supervisor for approval or denial of the licensing of the home. If approved the family will be contacted, a license with the specifics a family is looking for in a child will be mailed to the home.

Once licensed, the family can soon expect calls on children who have come into care and are needing placement. A family can ask as many questions as they would like about the child/children needing placement and can either decide to say yes or no to the placement.

Once licensed, the family will need to keep up with the requirements of their department or agency to remain licensed and maintain the ability to take placements.

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1. Licensing

The first aspect I wish I had known was that I had an option of either being licensed through the Department of Family and Protective Services for my state, or that I had the option to research and choose between private agencies. A private agency gives families more support and acts as an advocate for the foster family. The Department of Family and Protective Services is the advocate more for the children and their biological families more than for the family caring for the child. It is important for foster families to feel they have advocates and someone to speak for them as well. Had I known I had the option, I would have started with an agency rather than with the DFPS. I came into some hard situations where I felt cornered and nearly railroaded by DFPS, and felt I wasn’t getting what I needed from them for my foster placements, so I switched to an agency three years after becoming a foster parent.

2. Permanent Managing Conservatorship

The second aspect I wish I had known is that sometimes children remain in foster care under what is known as PMC (Permanent Managing Conservatorship) for many years and never come available for adoption and never return home to biological families.  When my son went into PMC, and the court documents read “To remain in care until his 18th birthday or until returned home to parents”, I was heartbroken and shocked.  I was told by my adoption worker that those words meant he would likely never be adopted and likely never return home. I had been fostering this child for two years at this time, he was four years old, and they were telling me he could stay with me but likely never be adopted by me. This also meant I would have to have permission for anything with him from medical, to travel, to even haircuts until he was 18. I don’t believe anyone who fosters goes into it knowing that they may foster a child for years that may never become legally theirs.

3. Your Rights as Foster Parents (or lack thereof…)

The most important aspect of fostering I wish I had known prior to becoming a foster parent was that we do not have a lot of right to making decisions for the children and what they feel is best for them. The state has primary custody of the children and any medical or therapeutic evaluation or treatment has to be approved by them prior to the foster parent seeking any treatments. If the foster parent sees a medical, behavioral, or developmental concern, but the state doesn’t feel the same way or doesn’t feel it is necessary, it doesn’t matter what the foster parent sees or feels; the state will not allow those evaluations or treatments to be made. 

In 2015-2016, I had two little boys who had some developmental and behavioral issues that I felt would benefit from an evaluation and a treatment plan.  I did what I thought I should as their “mom”, and sought out those evaluations and treatments without prior approval from the state.  I thought I was supposed to treat them as my children in all aspects and if I saw a need, I was to find a resource to help them make improvements.  I was then in trouble with the state and blamed for labeling the children, doing too much research online, self-diagnosing, and seeking therapies that were not needed in the eyes of the state.  All of this is what lead to my switching to an agency after three years under the state.

I have learned a lot in the five years that I have been fostering. Number one: Find an agency that will support me as a foster parent and see me as a parent not just as a full time babysitter. Number two: Understand that some children may remain in your care, but not be eligible for adoption for many years.  Number three: Understand that even though I see myself as the parent, the state doesn’t see me the same way, and I can’t make the same decisions with a child as a biological or adopted mother would make for the child. I feel all this has also taught me to look at fostering more as a job rather than as being a parent to a child in need. Although, with this JOB, it’s not about the pay, but about helping children in need and providing them with a loving safe environment while they are in your care.

Are you interested in becoming a foster parent? Click here to learn more.

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