Arizona Association for Foster and Adopt Parents (Arizona)

AZAFAP, based in Phoenix, Arizona, is a statewide organization that supports resource parents. For a small annual fee, they provide training, activities, parties, discounts to local venues, and free tickets to sporting events for foster/adopt families. More recently, they were able to invite 2,000 foster kids to a free concert with Taylor Swift. AZAFAP also coordinates summer camps for foster children and winter camps for foster families.

Project 1.27 (Colorado)

Project 1.27 is a faith-based ministry located in Colorado. Their mission is to support local churches who, in turn, support foster and adoptive families within their congregation. Project 1.27 assists in recruitment efforts, free events, training, and support for resource families. Project 1.27 is perhaps best known two things: basic training and Wrap Around Teams. Basic Training is a faith-based training used as a supplement to the state approved, pre-service training. They are also known for their Wrap Around Teams, which provide basic needs for foster/adopt parents such as meals, respite, social support.  They are also located in Arizona, Florida, Kansas, Louisiana, Wisconsin, and Washington DC. 

The Children’s Bureau (California)

This agency is located in throughout California, seeks to protect children through prevention, treatment, and advocacy. Perhaps their most effective support group is Dads Matter. This a gathering of fathers that provides training, support, mentoring and stability for fathers and father figures.

Foster and Adopt Family Services (New Jersey)

FAFS, based in Princeton, New Jersey, is a group that seeks to support foster and adoptive families. They offer training, support, activities and a blog for foster families. Their services are free. They’ve shared their mission on their Facebook page saying, “The heart of our mission is to provide advocacy and enriching programs and services to empower families and youth to thrive.”

You Gotta Believe! (New York)

Located in Brooklyn, New York, this agency caters to the 25,000 foster children located in New York. They provide training, support, and advocacy for children and youth. They assist teens ready to age out of the system and have monthly support group meetings.

Find a foster/adopt support group in your area that is sensitive to your needs and the needs of your child. Find a community of like minds where everyone shares the burden. With the proliferation of information on the Internet, online support groups have now become all the rage. Podcasts, radio programs, books, and magazines that focus on adoption are also becoming more abundant. Find a support group that works best for you and your family today.

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1. Road Trips

Now, I know as foster parents, you must get permission before you take your placements anywhere. So, be sure to ask before leaving town with the children who are placed in your homes. That being said, pack your foster children up and visit other states! Some have never been outside of their own neighborhood block. If possible, book a semi-luxury hotel and order them room service, it will make them feel special, speaking from experience of course.

2. Baking

What child doesn’t love sweets? Teach your foster children how to make delicious treats. Cakes and cookies to start then get more advanced as they show interest.

3. Build an Indoor Fort

Show your foster child your inner child. Build a fort in their bedroom or the living room. This is a great way to help them use their imagination (and it’s free).

4. Go Sledding

Do you have a lot of snow in your area? Get your foster child outside and go sledding.

5. Laser Tag 

There is nothing like a good work out. Spend some time running off all that extra energy.

6. Indoor Nerf Gun Battle

This is one of my family’s favorites. Gather all the nerf guns and bullets and scream and run all over the house.

7. Game Night

Have a set night every week that your foster child can look forward to. Play video games, board games, or outdoor games.

8. Visit New Restaurants

Children in care need to be exposed to different foods. Introduce them to healthy entrees from different cultures rather than from a drive-thru or fast food line. Take them to places where they can practice using their etiquette and manners sitting down in a restaurant and ordering from a menu.

9. A Night At The Theatre

Take your foster child to see a play at the theatre. Exposure to the arts may spark their interest in pursuing it themselves

10. Go Fishing

Take time to enjoy nature. Fishing is a time for you to have open and enlightening conversations with your child. You never know, you may even learn a thing or two.

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1. Licensing

The first step to becoming a foster parent is deciding whether you want to become licensed through the Department of Family and Protective Services or an agency. Both have a number or pros and cons. It is best to do a lot of research and speak to other foster parents before making your decision.

2. Training

The second step once you have decided which agency or department you want to go through for your licensing requirements is to take training. In the state of Texas, where I am from, everyone over the age of 14 living in the home is required to complete the training necessary to become licensed. In Texas, that training is called PRIDE (Parent Resource for Information, Development, and Education). More information can be about this training here. During the second step families will be required to turn in a lot of documentation to become licensed. Documentation that shows income, driver’s license, social security card, and bank statements.

3. Background checks

The third step will be for everyone over the age of 14 to complete an FBI background check and fingerprinting to be a foster family. Your department or agency will let you know of the locations where this can be completed as well as the cost involved for each person.

4. Health and Safety

The fourth step on your journey to being a foster parent is to complete health and safety inspections of your home. Your agency or department will let you know who to contact and if there is any cost involved in these checks as well. A part of this process is also to provide a layout of your home, an emergency evacuation plan, and photos of the inside and outside of the home. If a family has pets, all pets will have to be current on vaccinations as well.

5. Home Study

The final step to becoming a licensed foster parent is a home study. The agency or department that you choose will conduct the home study. There are some agencies that do charge for this service, so if that is a concern to your family you’ll need to find out up front if there will be a cost involved. I have been told some agencies charge upwards of $500 to complete them at times. Other agencies and departments may not charge anything at all. The home study takes many hours to complete as each member of the household is questioned in depth on categories such as: family background, community, health, criminal clearances, and financial statements.  For more in-depth information on questions that are asked please click here. 

After all steps have been completed, all documents and recommendations will be forwarded to a supervisor for approval or denial of the licensing of the home. If approved the family will be contacted, a license with the specifics a family is looking for in a child will be mailed to the home.

Once licensed, the family can soon expect calls on children who have come into care and are needing placement. A family can ask as many questions as they would like about the child/children needing placement and can either decide to say yes or no to the placement.

Once licensed, the family will need to keep up with the requirements of their department or agency to remain licensed and maintain the ability to take placements.

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1. Licensing

The first aspect I wish I had known was that I had an option of either being licensed through the Department of Family and Protective Services for my state, or that I had the option to research and choose between private agencies. A private agency gives families more support and acts as an advocate for the foster family. The Department of Family and Protective Services is the advocate more for the children and their biological families more than for the family caring for the child. It is important for foster families to feel they have advocates and someone to speak for them as well. Had I known I had the option, I would have started with an agency rather than with the DFPS. I came into some hard situations where I felt cornered and nearly railroaded by DFPS, and felt I wasn’t getting what I needed from them for my foster placements, so I switched to an agency three years after becoming a foster parent.

2. Permanent Managing Conservatorship

The second aspect I wish I had known is that sometimes children remain in foster care under what is known as PMC (Permanent Managing Conservatorship) for many years and never come available for adoption and never return home to biological families.  When my son went into PMC, and the court documents read “To remain in care until his 18th birthday or until returned home to parents”, I was heartbroken and shocked.  I was told by my adoption worker that those words meant he would likely never be adopted and likely never return home. I had been fostering this child for two years at this time, he was four years old, and they were telling me he could stay with me but likely never be adopted by me. This also meant I would have to have permission for anything with him from medical, to travel, to even haircuts until he was 18. I don’t believe anyone who fosters goes into it knowing that they may foster a child for years that may never become legally theirs.

3. Your Rights as Foster Parents (or lack thereof…)

The most important aspect of fostering I wish I had known prior to becoming a foster parent was that we do not have a lot of right to making decisions for the children and what they feel is best for them. The state has primary custody of the children and any medical or therapeutic evaluation or treatment has to be approved by them prior to the foster parent seeking any treatments. If the foster parent sees a medical, behavioral, or developmental concern, but the state doesn’t feel the same way or doesn’t feel it is necessary, it doesn’t matter what the foster parent sees or feels; the state will not allow those evaluations or treatments to be made. 

In 2015-2016, I had two little boys who had some developmental and behavioral issues that I felt would benefit from an evaluation and a treatment plan.  I did what I thought I should as their “mom”, and sought out those evaluations and treatments without prior approval from the state.  I thought I was supposed to treat them as my children in all aspects and if I saw a need, I was to find a resource to help them make improvements.  I was then in trouble with the state and blamed for labeling the children, doing too much research online, self-diagnosing, and seeking therapies that were not needed in the eyes of the state.  All of this is what lead to my switching to an agency after three years under the state.

I have learned a lot in the five years that I have been fostering. Number one: Find an agency that will support me as a foster parent and see me as a parent not just as a full time babysitter. Number two: Understand that some children may remain in your care, but not be eligible for adoption for many years.  Number three: Understand that even though I see myself as the parent, the state doesn’t see me the same way, and I can’t make the same decisions with a child as a biological or adopted mother would make for the child. I feel all this has also taught me to look at fostering more as a job rather than as being a parent to a child in need. Although, with this JOB, it’s not about the pay, but about helping children in need and providing them with a loving safe environment while they are in your care.

Are you interested in becoming a foster parent? Click here to learn more.

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